The Deadliest Warrior

April 20, 2009 - 10:34 PM

My boyfriend has found yet another excruciatingly masculine way to bore me to tears.

There is a new TV show on Spike, which is to men what lifetime is to middle-aged women, that pairs up ancient warriors like ninjas, samurai, Vikings, gladiators, Native American warriors, and more. Then they have "experts" predict who will win based on their ancient weaponry and skill. Then, in a mock battle, the two warriors (who would never have met in the time they were prevalent) compete to be the hypothetical victor.

God.

DOES THIS SOUND AS RIDICULOUS AS IT IS? It is hilarious to see the guys who are apparently educated in the crafts of ancient war discuss the pros and cons of each weapon and each type of warrior. What is even funnier is that there are still guys who play the parts of the ancient warriors. I suppose that from a cultural and historical point of view, it is interesting to see the ways of the old world. But when grown men spend their time playing with old knives and swords, they might as well be in a sand box.

What is even worse is that my boyfriend tunes in. He sits on the couch and switches between the NBA playoffs and The Deadliest Warrior. And then, when I bring this to his attention, my boyfriend says, "okay but you spent 4 hours shopping yesterday!" Which is true, but I will be making use of the clothes and wearing them to an internship. Not playing dress up and cat fighting in them.

Then again, I suppose The Deadliest Warrior is comparable to America's Next Top Model. The girls dress up and see who can walk the straightest while swinging their hipbones. That is kind of the same thing. But, I don't watch America's Next Top Model....unless my friends are...and then...well. Anyway. The Deadliest Warrior is the epitome of glorified primitive masculinity.

At least America's Next Top Model is current and slightly relevant. Warriors are no longer needed.
Thanks anyway boys.