Human Nature: Sex and Attention-Seeking; Power and Patheticism; STDs and Stigmas.

Whitney M.

February 5, 2010 - 10:12 PM

So I was talking to my best friend about the possibility of her hooking up with her ex-boyfriend next weekend, and we came upon some interesting topics.

First of all, we were discussing whether or not she was actually going to do the deed with this fellow or simply make out, "because it is really about attention, not sex."

I started thinking, and talking, about how sex is a basic element of human nature, and many of us have come to terms with this, and act accordingly. However, most people cannot bring themselves to admit that attention-seeking is just as basic an element of human nature. Somehow, sex is empowering but needing attention is pathetic.

This is pretty tragic. I think it is fabulous that many young women have identified sex as a part of human life and have moved away from the crippling negative associations with sexual experiences. But I think it would also be empowering for young women to see the need for attention in the same light. This need doesn't need to have such a negative connotation. It is how being human goes: sometimes we are going to have feelings aside from pure joy, and we need to know that having those feelings is okay.

Why it was just last year that this best friend of mine was telling me that she "hates jealousy. It is just so stupid. I wish it would just go away." At that point we had the same conversation. Jealousy, like the need for attention, is a basic part of human emotion, and it should not be wished-away nor should it be hidden. It should be talked about. That way, all of its stripped of all of its potential negative power.

Just like tension among people, when the conflict is brought into broad daylight, all of the possible behind-the-scenes damage is assuaged, and all of the parties are able to come together to make better, cooperative decisions.

The same goes for many of these so-called "undesirable" emotions. When they are brought out of the darkness, when the negative connotations are dusted away; real, good decision-making can take place.

After we discussed this she said, "But then the problem is, what if he has had sex with a ton of other girls since we dated, and he has an STD?"

"Well a one-night stand, while amazing, is not worth a lifetime with a serious STD," I said.

"What if he says that he hasn't slept with anyone since we broke up?" she asked, laughing.

"Then punch him in the face," I said and we laughed together. "Because it either means A) he's lying or B) he really hasn't, and that's pathetic, and he should be punched."