Chasing a Stadium of Friends to Their Pools

May 31, 2009 - 9:22 PM

Because the weather has been amazingly sunny and hot, I have found myself going away from my campus apartment to the apartments out by Autzen Staduim. One of the complexes is called Chase Village, and I have gone there several times to see my friend who loves to cook dinner for me. One of the others is called Stadium Park Apartments, where my new friend Brandi lives.

On Thursday, Brandi invited me out to her pool at Stadium. So she and I and our friend Steven went to the pool to schmooze with the Greek-system kids who were swarming the tiny pool. The three of us laid on the grass outside the gated pool and watched all of the beautiful people dip in and out of the pool.

We got nice tans and went into the pool when most of the other people had gone home. We played games and talked to each other about why we aren't in the Greek system.

Then the next day, I was invited by my friend Rachel, who lives in Chase Village, out to her pool. I had such a good time the day before that I said yes and headed over as soon as I could. When I got there, the pool was smaller and the bodies hotter. I stood there in my one-piece and shorts looking at the beautiful people lounge with their sunglasses on. I couldn't tell where their eyes were directed, but I was sure that it was toward my thick, cellulite-ridden mayonnaise thighs.

My friend was in the middle of them and decided that we should move a couple of lounge chairs right into the mix. I pulled her aside and told her that I didn't feel comfortable there, but soon she persuaded me to stay. Then we went through the horribly awkward process of wedging lounge chairs between a bunch of the people. Once we figured it out, I felt fine. I wore my sunglasses too and started making small talk with the people around me. I may be overweight, but I have a sense of humor-so if I can't have their immediate respect by being impeccably built, then I will earn it by knocking their comedic socks off.

In the end, all of the people were extremely nice and just like me. We laughed at the same jokes and talked about our majors with the same kinds of perspectives-not that I don't want to be friends with people with varied perspectives, but when I realized that the people with whom I thought I had nothing in common were actually much more like myself than I had thought, I was happy to find myself fitting in.

College is kind of like that. Although I felt like an insecure high-schooler again while I stood opposite the group of hard-bodies, I ultimately proved what I had been observing since I came to college, which is that people generally have no time to be rude to people-they're much more preoccupied with getting drunk and getting laid, so in the end, they don't care if your thighs are thicker than theirs.
I haven't felt rejected since I came to college. The only source of insecurity is the beast in my head telling me that I am not good enough. But it is nice to see that I have what it takes to forge ahead through my fears.