Things My Mother Taught Me

Whitney M.

November 23, 2008 - 8:00 PM

So, I have taken it upon myself to start doing the Christmas cookie distribution now that my mom can't anymore. When I was growing up, she and I would bake several kinds of cookies, wrap them up, and send them out with my dad who would drop them off to family friends. She also always made sure to send out greeting cards to family and friends. The house was always elaborately and elegantly decorated with lights, nativity scenes, stockings, angel's hair, mistletoe, and the most magnificent Christmas tree known to man. It would take her an entire 12 hours to put the tree together. She was so particular about it that for the most part, no one was allowed to help. This was the kind of wonderland that people see in the movies, and it is one of the best parts of my childhood. I am planning on writing a book someday called, "Things My Mother Taught Me," and it will no doubt contain some extensive coverage of her ability to make a fantastic home with her decorations.

My mother is ill now, however. She is bi-polar and has been recovering for about two years from a set of manic episodes that have left her feeble in every way. My parents are divorced, but my dad is heroic in a way that most people could never dream of. Of course, he is someone that you would see in the grocery store or at the bank - just a normal guy. But he has spent the last two years making sure that my mom is taken care of. He has taken countless trips to make sure that she sees us regularly, brings her down to Eugene so that they can see the school from which they both graduated, takes her brother with cerebral palsy out to dinner and takes care of some of his household needs. The ways my dad has catered to my mom's many needs is really awe-inspiring, and even though my dad isn't perfect, his willingness to serve her after all of the turmoil speaks volumes about his character.

It is funny how our family dynamic has panned out. My childhood was spent in a volatile family setting. But after I got back from boarding school, my family had separated and I was living with my dad and his girlfriend at the time. When it was time for me to see my mom, however, we found that my parents found a different kind of relationship. My mom was grateful to him for all of the wonderful things that he did for her, and he knew that she was changed and needed to be treated with respect. Eventually, the three of us became a family of three who all lived separately because I went to school, my mom lived in Long Beach, WA., and my dad lived in Portland. Although my parents aren't together, we all have a relationship that gives each of us what we need.

When we visit my mom, we get to go to the beach and walk our family dog that lives with her. We go to our favorite restaurants that my mom doesn't really go to when we aren't in town, so that is a treat for her. Long Beach has some fun festivals that happen during the summer, so a lot of the time the town will be bustling with tourists, which makes the rainy, northwest coastal town less depressing. When she comes home to Portland, I get to take her to our athletic club where my mom can relax in the hot tub and sauna. It makes me feel good to treat her to this because I know that she has seen so many hardships in the last few years. I want to ease her pain as much as I can.

When they are down here, in Eugene, we get to walk the campus with our dog, and I introduce my mom to the people I know. My parents like to walk around and tell stories about the people in the classes that they had in the buildings that we pass, and then we sit down at a restaurant near campus and talk about all of the things that my boyfriend Collin and I are doing and learning.

 

Being in Eugene is really nice because I feel a connection to my parents. I know that they are familiar with the things that I am doing, which makes me feel really supported. But I also feel like I am carving a new path without them. After my childhood, developing an independent adulthood is really important to me, and the U of O campus is the perfect place for me, personally, to do that.

 

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Looking Forward to Thanksgiving Break

Whitney M.

November 23, 2008 - 2:00 PM

I am sitting at home in my apartment across the street from the grave yard on Sunday afternoon. I have gotten all of the homework done that will be due when I return from Thanksgiving break, which is great because otherwise I would be stressing out the whole time I am gone. My stress levels are unacceptable sometimes. If I were to reduce the number of extra-curricular activities I do, then I think I would be much happier. This term I have been a Teacher's Aide for the Journalism Transfer Seminar, volunteered for Duck Preview, helped to broadcast the journalism school's Duck U Newscast, written for KD Magazine, continued an internship that I had in Portland this summer, had a small part on a TV show for the journalism school. All of this was coupled with my studies. Not to mention remembering to be a good daughter, friend, and girlfriend. I don't want to complain because I know that I am very lucky to have the opportunity to do all of these things. But one of the most important things to me is exercise. I lost about 55 lbs. this year with the help of Jenny Craig and the Student Recreation Center. I have always been overweight, and this amount of weight loss was monumental for both my physical and mental health.

Like many girls, I have some considerable body-image issues. And the fact that I have not given myself enough time to work out this term has been really hard. When I don't nurture my physical health, it is hard to concentrate on doing well in all of the other parts of my life. It seems to be impossible to let go of the need to work out when I need to be accomplishing other things. But that puts me between a rock and a hard place because sometimes there just isn't time to get some exercise, and I need to focus on completing my tasks. I guess that is what you call a catch 22.

 

This break should give me an opportunity to change my priorities for a while. Although I haven't gone more than two days without a workout this term, being able to plan my day around my workouts will be a luxury this holiday season. Thankfully, overworking myself is going to pay off because I will be able to have a good long stint of doing nothing but exercise, decorate for Christmas, do some unpaid freelance work, and experiment with cooking. I am a terrible cook. Because my boyfriend Collin is an Eagle Scout, he can cook better than I can. He learned some common sense for cooking during his years in scouts, and I never really learned these basic skills.

 

Hopefully, this break will give me the relaxation that I will need to get ready for next term, which will be void of extra-curricular activities because I will be taking a journalism class that requires a 100-page research paper. More importantly, however, is the realization that I can't go on living this way. Stints of horrendous stress matched with periods of absolutely nothing to do is not well-balanced, and the key to a happy life is balance-or so they say. But I think this is what college is about: learning to live well outside of the classroom. I adore my classes, don't get me wrong, but I think that the things that you learn about yourself, your preferences, and the way you want to live are the most important things to get out of your college years.

 

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KD Magazine

Whitney M.

November 21, 2008 - 9:17 PM

In the Journalism school, we have a few publications that are produced primarily by students. One of which is KD Magazine, and this term is the first term that I have participated in the creation of it. My assignment is to write about the clean needle exchange program that is hosted by the HIV Alliance in Eugene. Lane County's specific program is called the Sana Needle Exchange Program, and for the most part, its purpose is to diminish the transmission of blood-borne illnesses by providing sterile syringes to intravenous drug users. Studies have shown that this type of program, which is provided by nearly 200 services nationwide, does not increase the amount of drug use in communities but has reduced the number of new cases of diseases like Hepatitis and HIV/AIDS.

 

There is a little background for you, but the interesting part of all this is that I went as an observer last night on one of the exchanges. I chose a Thursday night because it is the night that most of the services are provided. There were three tables, a tent, and a van. The first table was the site of the biohazard boxes that held the used syringes and the location where people could pick up new needles, safer sex kits, and snacks. The second table was the location of the Hepatitis C testing, where people had their fingers pricked and blood tested on slips of paper. The tent housed a doctor who was available to treat abscesses. And the van is the station for HIV testing.

 

When we arrived, there was a man waiting under the bridge where the exchange is performed. He looked like the kind of man that one would expect to see there, his hair was messy, his clothes were thick and dark, and he was quiet while they set up. After the stations were ready, what seemed to be a family arrived in their SUV. There was a middle-old-aged man, a woman of about the same age and a young man who seemed to be about seventeen. His complexion was soft and smooth-he looked like someone I would sit next to in a history class. Then the woman who I assume was his mother answered her cell phone, which struck me as interesting because I was not expecting people to be driving, talking on cell phones or wearing wedding bands. But all of these things were present. The woman had a sense of humor about the whole situation, which might strike people as obsurd, but the way I see it, there are only so many ways to deal with this kind of situation, so if you are going to be participating, you might as well make it as comfortable as possible.

There were others, too; people whom you would expect to see. People came who could hardly speak anymore but were still interested in making sure that they do not contract potentially fatal diseases. For the most part, volunteers far outnumbered the clients. But there was a fantastic rapport between the volunteers and the clientele. Jeff Nichols, whose job it is to manage the exchange program, says that the most important thing about the exchanges is the trust that people develop for the program and the people who maintain it.

It was a very interesting experience, and I am on my way out the door to do another interview at the HIV Alliance. I am hoping to speak with a client who will be willing to share his or her experience with the program with the readers of KD Magazine. Overall, this story has given me a glimpse of a lifestyle that many Americans hold, but that I am unaware of on a daily basis. And that is what is so cool about being a journalist. We get to research and learn new things all the time, which is something many people don't have an opportunity to do once they graduate!

 

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My First Blog Ever

Whitney M.

November 17, 2008 - 4:00 PM

Hello! This is my first blog ever, and I am pretty excited about it. I have never really thought seriously about blogging until I heard of one with a purpose. The purpose of this blog is to document the life of students at the University of Oregon, which I think will be a very meaningful publication for many people. I am a journalism major, so this assignment is really quite fitting for me. In my classes, we have been talking about the progress of technology and the effect it will have on our professions. This applies to all majors, not just journalism. But in the case of broadcasting information, nothing is more effective than instant information from newscasters. The internet, needless to say, is booming, and I need to keep up in order to be a marketable graduate. So, in effect, this blog is written about itself. College students' new lifestyles are very much centered around the internet and new technologies, so blogging about our lifestyles is really just living.

My lifestyle... Well, I suppose it is not a traditional college student's lifestyle. I don't party-I am in recovery from drug addiction. My college years started while I was in a boarding school for troubled teens, so I have spent the last three years as a reformed "rebel." I guess I will step out on a limb and say that my day-to-day experience is spent trying to establish myself as a successful person because I fear relapsing into my old behaviors. The good news about this confession is that it is working. I have accumulated a lot of credentials since I started college, and I am very proud of what I have achieved.

I think, though, that this time in my life will be a time of learning to balance success and inner serenity because I value both, but I know that I can't live in extremes. I think that this dilemma might be largely related to my gender. As a female in the 21st century, I was raised to think of myself as a future career woman. But I know from my past, that I yearn for a happy home, which I will have an opportunity to create someday. I am often in internal conflict over the balance between being a successful woman in today's day and age. I am not willing to completely surrender my personal life to the demands of a well-paying career. But I am also not comfortable when I am not striving to be better, smarter, and stronger.

Don't be fooled, however. I do manage to sneak some fun in between extra-curricular activities, (which should be fun, I know, but because they are the only things in my life that come in six-packs, I really think of them more as extra-curricular occupations). I have been dating a young man for almost a year and a half, and he is my best friend. Because he is also in recovery, Collin and I spend a lot of time dining out, hiking, playing sports, and spending time with our families. My dad is Collin's biggest fan, which makes me happier than anything else in the world. During my time in boarding school, my dad and I became closer than I ever thought we could. He is an enormous source of support for me, and I adore him. Sometimes I wonder if my dad knows how much I appreciate him-If he knows that I journal about the little things that he says that I think are deeply profound. So when my dad loves the person I love, I feel like things make more sense.

 

My living situation is really fun! My apartment is across the street from the cemetery that is on campus, so it is practically like living in the dorms. I live with two other girls, Iris and Stephanie, whose boyfriends, Jon and Jake respectively, practically live with us too. We all met while making a televised sitcom through the journalism school. After helping to produce this show, we became great friends and wonderful supports for getting through the rather rigorous journalism requirements. College is an interesting time for friendships as well. I might talk a little more about this later, but in short, I am delighted to have the different types of friends that I do. In high school, we would have all dispersed into different cliques, but in college, we don't categorize ourselves and drive each other away.

For the most part, I am a lucky girl. I have so many opportunities here at the U of O, and I have a huge support system. There are struggles, but I feel blessed.

 

I hope that this blog provides people with an insight as to what it is like to be a student at the U of O. Perhaps someone who reads this will be able to relate to my distinct experiences, and my blog will have served its purpose.

 

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