You know you live in a college house when… (Part 2)

Trafton B.

December 12, 2010 - 10:19 PM

It wasn't long ago when I wrote the first edition of this post, and I had so much fun with it last March that I couldn't wait any longer for round two. With every new house comes a new set of quirks, some of them from the house itself while others having to do with our own goofy antics. Some things haven't changed since 15th Alley & Ferry. Our house is still decorated with Oregon sports posters and the numbers are growing with every passing season, but we have managed to replace the soda box with an actual dustpan. Okay, I'll stop with the jargon. By no means do the following stories represent all college houses in Eugene, but I believe they are an illustration of what happens when young, naive college kids move into houses that are past their prime.

You know you live in a college house when...

The smoke alarm goes off when the dryer is running. Remember that last year we didn't even have a washer and dryer so all things considered this is a pretty good problem to have, but it's ridiculously annoying. I will admit that it's partly our fault, and by ‘our' I mean usually ‘my.' The alarm doesn't sound if we remember to close the door to the washer and dryer closet, but if the door is left ajar by even the slightest gap then hot air will seep out and trigger the smoke alarm that is strategically placed three feet from the dryer. What's even better is the chain reaction of ear piercing shrieks that climbs from the first alarm in the basement up the stairs to the living room to even the three rooms upstairs. Needless to say we have an oscillating fan next to the dryer, which has been the most efficient method to counteract this defect.

The basement door is four feet tall. Staying downstairs for a moment, one of the doors to the basement is through the vestibule next to the back door. To give you a visual, you open up the back screen door into a small mudroom where we store our bikes. You can walk up three steps to the kitchen or down seven steps to the basement, and if you want to reach the basement you have to contort your body considerably to fit through the hobbit-sized door. We don't use it for much, especially it's also accesible through a full-sized door in Ross' room, but it's still makes me laugh whenever I see it.

The closet under the stairs is decorated with neon posters and full of pillows and blankets. Okay, this one is a product of our own nonsensicality. It was a series of events that made the closet what it is today. Upon first moving in my roommates laughed at the room because it reminded them of a Harry Potter room. Then they started tossing extra blankets in there for storage because it was still summertime. After putting blankets inside we had an epiphany that we could transform it into a college-version of a guest room. It's quiet, private, and dark in the mornings, not to mention we figured that none of our friends would really care that it's technically a closet under the stairs. Finally, we added some homey touches - i.e. a black light and blank neon posters - for absolutely no reason other than ‘why not.' Nowadays we formally referr it as "The Chamber of Secrets."

You and your roommates are simultaneously making breakfast for dinner and bottling your latest batch of homebrew on a Monday night. And the icing on the cake is that it's the Monday night of finals week. I should probably set the stage for this so you can get the full experience. Last Monday all the roommates stumbled through the door after a long day of studying, working, writing papers, playing Ultimate Frisbee, or some combination of the above.

We flopped on the couch and Ross said, "Do we have any food in this house?"

I responded, "Nope....well, we have a lot of potatoes." Our friend's father owns a potato starch business and he regularly donates 25-pound boxes of potatoes to miscellaneous clients, friends and charities during the holiday season. Not sure if my house qualifies as friend or charity? Not that I really care, though. We won't ever have to buy potatoes again! Sorry, I digress. Back to the story. 

"Do we have any eggs?" Steven asked.

"Yeah, I just picked some up today," I replied. "Breakfast burritos?"

Too tired to show emotion, but Ross trudged to the kitchen saying, "I'll thaw the bacon." It might not seem like much, but there was genuine excitement in his voice. 

Meanwhile, Bob came in to remind us that we had to bottle the homebrew sometime before break. We all knew there would be no better time than tonight because it was finals week, so we quickly found ourselves in a kitchen that emanated with the smells of sizzling hash browns and malty hops.

It was 7:45 PM when all six of us realized how ridiculous we looked as we switched off between cooking burritos on the George Forman and clamping caps onto bottles. It was a real roommate bonding experience.