Whoa Life!

Lynae N.

April 25, 2010 - 9:29 PM

I think I told you all about the crazy week I had last week with my daughter and the bullying she was experiencing at school and our friend's tragedy with his girlfriend's death. If not it will suffice to say that last week was chaotic and sad. I am pleased to say that this week has been far less intense and all of the dust is settling.

For my daughter, my husband and I decided that we would try and wait it out a week and see how things go. Shae came home from school on Monday way too excited to see us and had a completely miserable day full of pre-teen meanness. I absolutely hate the way it feel so see my child hurting. It is one of the most helpless feelings in the world. I didn't know what to do about the situation and was going back and forth in my mind about pulling her out of school this close to the end of the school year or waiting until next year. Brian and I went back and forth on this decision, watching our baby girl go to school and come home day after day feeling unloved and unappreciated by her friends.

I kept thinking back to what my life was like in fourth grade and I went through some really tough situations at that age. We moved from my hometown and away from all of my friends whom I'd gone to school since kindergarten with. . . on my birthday. I moved to a town that was foreign and I didn't feel like I fit in. My teacher was an absolute monster, the type you hear about on talk shows who yell at, embarrass, and yes, even HIT their students. My parents knew the move was hard for me but they had no idea that my situation was as bad off as it really was. I remembered how terrible it felt that my parents didn't believe me when I told them about my teacher and the overwhelming sense of relief when the light finally came on and they got me out of the school and into another one.

I had all of these thoughts and memories rolling around in the back of my head as I weighed the decision for Shae. Because of my experiences, I could feel myself wanting to jump in and save the day for her immediately but also didn't want to potentially put her in a position where she would not be well received being a new student in a small private school, Eugene Christian School, where we would be sending her. Not only that, but it is not cheap to send her to private school and we don't have enough money to sustain a commitment to a private education.

With all of these variables floating around in my mind and an equally complicating cloud of ideas in Brian's head we decided to make a trip to Eugene Christian School. We were immediately in love and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was the perfect place for Shae. So one meeting turned into two, turned into a long process to try and make the switch happen fast and ta-da! Tomorrow morning our very, very, very, very excited little girl is going to have her first day at her new school.

Needless to say, all of the planning and thinking and talking about the change altered my schedule dramatically this week. I am down to the wire for getting the client contact hours I need to graduate and I had to cancel my appointments to make the meetings work. I also lost about a day and a half total typing time for my Formal Case Presentation, the equivalent of a thesis for my program. The end result of all this feeling behind lead to some strange stomach symptoms along with my normal stress related poor sleep and inability to talk correctly and remember things. But you know what, seeing the relief on my baby girl's face is totally worth it. It is worth the time and money sacrifice and has been a good way for me to recognize areas in my life where I spend frivolously. It is certainly already requiring sacrifice but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make. You know what else; I am miraculously not that behind on my homework and am still on schedule to have my big paper done by the end of the week. Thanks to God who sustains me through all of this!