What to do?

Lynae N.

October 2, 2009 - 10:21 AM

As part of one of my classes for the Couples and Family Therapy (CFT) program, I am required to set some goals for myself as a therapist to keep myself growing and expanding my interests and "expertise." This is a funny thing to think about because how could I really become an expert on anything? Our knowledge of people is ever expanding and ever changing. Yet, no matter how much it grows or changes, knowledge falls so short of experience and pages on a book can never prepare you for the emotion in "the room."

However, despite the shortcomings of knowledge, to not seek it out is limiting at best and often unethical. There is no way I can possibly know everything there is to know to help people through the most difficult situations in their lives. What I can do is seek out what other people have found useful and see if their tips work for me and for my clients. If they don't then I am left to move on and do more research and find more ways of helping. But what I have found and what therapist as a profession have found, is that all the methods and tools in the world, while helpful, are not as important in helping as the nature of the relationship we have with our clients. I find that this balance between presence and methods is hard to keep as a student when we are encouraged so strongly to investigate methods. I am new at this, my experience is limited, and while I can offer compassion and space for a client to talk, I want to be the best I can and that means taking the mandate to learn and grow seriously.

With that said, I am finding that trauma is an interesting place to start learning. Everyone has experienced some sort of hurt, fear, or pain in their lives and these experiences change us. For some, the effects of trauma are debilitating and I am desperate to know how to do something for and with these hurting people. So one of my goals for this term (I had this same goal last term and wasn't able to fulfill it) is to find out information on Eye Movement Desensitization Reintegration (EMDR) trainings. EMDR is a very silly way of working with trauma that seems completely bogus but has the research to back up the results. The premise of EMDR is when someone is stuck in their trauma and experiencing some negative symptoms, such as flashbacks, they are literally stuck there. We can tell they are stuck there because their eyes freeze. With no simple side to side eye movement, there is nothing to trigger the brain to process the information and the poor person is left to relive the same experience time and time again without ever being able to work through it. While there is much more to the build up of EMDR, the most famous piece involves the client talking about the trauma with the therapist who waves their fingers or some other object in front of the client's eyes. As the client moves their eyes and talks through their experience, their brain processes the stuck information. This process is repeated over the span of one or more sessions until the client no longer feels traumatic distress over the thought.

Sound hokey? I kind of think so too, but I am also very curious about it. This is why I have wanted to find a training to learn more and become licensed to practice EMDR. And I have taken steps to fulfill my training goal for this term and have already looked into all of the trainings close by. And by close by I mean no further than Colorado. I only found two. And they are expensive! Student rates run anywhere from $950 to $1400 for the two weekend seminars. In addition, I would be looking at the cost of required text books, air fare, transportation, food, and 20 hours of supervision from an approved EMDR supervisor. All totaled up this is about a 5 thousand dollar bill. So I am weighing the decision hard in my mind. I feel if EMDR is as effective as it's made out to be, then the cost is definitely worth it. However, I have my own family to consider in this process and I am having to think about what it would cost them to have me go. Are there trips to the zoo or Yellowstone or anywhere else that I would be giving up for this training? Am I giving up the funds to be able to support the cost of having a baby, another major desire in my heart? I have until December to make up my mind on the training. There is a lot to ponder in making this decision. Hmmm. . . what to do?