Tragedy puts it all in its place

Lynae N.

April 18, 2010 - 6:52 AM

I guess it is reasonable for me to be feeling a bit of extra stress this term. I've been consumed with a desperate pursuit to finish my practicum hours, write my big end of the program paper, and managing to get my weekly reading and assignments done. Because of all of my hustle and bustle, I have truly neglected the vast majority of friend and family relationships. True, this is only for a short time and that there is a certain wisdom to pushing through and focusing in.

Wise or not, there are consequences to our actions. Whenever we say yes to one thing, we are saying no to another. I had a bit of a perspective switch this weekend. My husband and my friend who wasn't one to date recently met a young lady and decided to start a relationship. They had just made the decision to start looking at the possibility of marriage a few days ago. All of their joy and their plans were cut short when this young lady tragically died yesterday of a medical emergency. I hadn't even had the chance to meet her yet because I was so busy with all of my academic obligations.
The whole situation feels so strange. There is the part of me that wants to be available for my friend to encourage him though this unfair and painful time in his life. Then there is the part of me that feels sad that I never had the chance to meet her, or make the time to meet her I should say. Then there is the part of me that is collecting all of the stress of what needs to be accomplished in a week because the demands aren't any less despite all of this. How can I possibly help one friend celebrate with joy at her soon upcoming marriage that I am helping to plan, grieve with another friend the loss of a young love that ended too soon, and plan a memorable 10th birthday party for my daughter while finishing up this overwhelming last term of school?

It is inevitable that I am going to miss things over the next two months. I didn't expect the consequences of my disconnection to be at such a big price though. I wish life could be put on hold for a couple months while I disappear from it to get done all of the ‘have to's' I am swimming in. However, since that is completely unrealistic, I am taking what is and trying to make the best decision about how to divide my time and attend to all of the important people and things in my life. This is a hard balancing act.