Exhaustion

Lynae N.

January 1, 2010 - 9:26 PM

Getting back into the swing of things has been more difficult this term that I expected. I have struggled getting out of bed every morning and I didn't know it was possible for me to hate my alarm clock any more than I did before the beginning of this week. But I guess I was able to increase my hatred to unsafe levels. By that, I mean it is a good thing that the alarm is on my husband's side of the bed or it would be liable to be thrown or kicked. I know I can't kill my alarm as much as I want to, and it always wins. The screaming box always seems to drag me out of bed in the morning and away from my warm cozy heating blanket covered bed (best Christmas present ever!).

I am trying not to be so negative in the mornings. Tired and cold is never a good combination for me and so mornings have been particularly rough. I'm starting out my days with a strong routine because it helps me get going physically without putting immediate demands on my still-sleeping brain. And before I know it I'm bundling up in a coat and scarf with umbrella in hand, headed for the bus stop.

Normally I enjoy my days and kind of slide through them naturally. I really can't figure out what has been so different but it feels like I'm stuck in first gear and am trying to operate life in fifth gear. At least the work is still fun for me, however draining. I am taking Couple's Therapy and Medical Family Therapy this term along with Practicum and my internship and externship. I've already written a ten page paper in this first week and am working on my second paper, a 20 pager due in a month. I've not another paper that same size in the same class due another three weeks after the first is due. I've plowed through close to three hundred pages of reading. I've seen several clients and am back on track meeting with my supervisors at both my internship and externship sites.

In addition to this, I'm really trying hard to have a more disciplined home life. I'm notorious for leaving piles of my stuff at the door, in the bedroom, and office. I walk in from classes and make a sort of trail behind me and then quickly forget about them or feel I don't have the time to mess with them. These little piles soon turn into a chaotic feeling mess and this bad habit is one of my husband's biggest pet peeves. So I've mad a commitment to work on that. I immediately put everything way before I head off to do any tasks. I've worked making the bed into my normal morning routine and washing/ putting dishes away into my normal nightly routine. It's not that these things haven't happened before, they were just not planned out and didn't always happen or happen on a predicable bases. Inevitably, when the term became busy, these things dropped and no one in our house is a fan of living in that type of environment.

So other new things I'm doing to help take care of myself include doing five minutes of abs each morning first thing. I don't even go brush my teeth; I simply slump out of that deliciously warm bed onto the cold floor and start moving. This is really helping me get going because it forces blood to move and it also jump starts my metabolism which is so very helpful considering my life is so sedentary and I can't possibly fit in any consistent exercise routine right now. I'm also reading my Bible every morning, no matter what. I would so often let this be something I would do in my free time, the problem was I would never have any free time. The result: I wouldn't read and I would feel the consequences of not including this important part of myself into my life.

It's funny how reading this, it doesn't seem so funny now to think about how tired I've been this week. I have put my entire system into shock and it's now wonder I'm desperate for bed by 8:00. I even took a nap this weekend. I didn't mean to because, trust me, I started out the term behind with my work load. I ended up passing out completely and waking up three hours later to find my husband had taken my daughter to a movie in order to keep the house quiet for me. Jus thinking about this now I want to cry. I couldn't do this without his love and support. I thank God for Brian and Shae and am starting to look forward to having more free time to be a wife and a mother more and more.