January 3, 2010 - 8:58 PM
I didn't realize how badly I needed the break I've enjoyed over the past month. I see my time of rest is coming to a screeching halt, literally at the end of today. So I'm doing my best to enjoy the hours I have left and end my break in the same manner I've lived it over the past month, spending casual time with my husband and getting to be his friend and girlfriend. It's time for Shalene to go to sleep, so the play wrestling, silly dances, joint baking and cooking sessions have already come to an end. But I still have a few more hours with my baby to wrap up our time of mutual rest and relaxation.
I am sad to see it go. I began feeling a heaviness about break ending a week or so ago and have continually pushed the feeling aside to keep from ruining the rest of my break with dread. But here it is and while I'm not particularly excited about jumping back into the insanity, I have a deeper peace about going back. I am looking forward to reading more and stimulating that little geek in my brain. I am excited to see my clients and I've missed them over the two weeks I haven't been seeing them. It is amazing to me how much can change in a person's life in two weeks time and catching up will be nice. I'm even excited for the routine of getting up early and all the structure I have in my life in school mode.
This structure helps me stay on track with other things, particularly eating habits. I am always seeking to eat and live healthily and school helps me with that. I am around a group of gals who all have a health-conscious focus and that is a good influence on me. I spent all break being a slug on relative's couches as they fed me plates of rich foods and decadent deserts and I'm now stuck with the natural consequence of my gluttony. I've gained over two pounds since Thanksgiving. This may not be that much; however, when I am trying to prepare my body for carrying a baby, I want to be as healthy as possible. The food habits I've had lately aren't helpful now and won't be for pregnancy either. The lower the weight when I start out my pregnancy the better off I'll be at the end. Plus, I am conscious about loosing weight slowly and not doing any crash diet tactics to remove the pounds. It is much easier to maintain gains when weight is lost through lifestyle changes that happen over time. I've been living this for the past year and a half. I've lot a total of 47 or so pounds (yay!), and only ten have been in the past year. I anticipate that this year will be different with the hope of having a baby. It is now my goal to maintain a healthy way of eating and then work on the weight only before I am pregnant and after the baby is born. I will be thrilled if I can be at a place where I weigh what I way now at the end of this next year with this in mind.
It is so funny to think that even a few hours ago I wasn't feeling ready. Somehow writing about this and thinking about school has brought me a peace and calmness. So thanks for letting me share.