What do you call a fish with no I's?

Lynae N.

March 28, 2010 - 9:07 PM

My daughter spent the week in Southern Oregon visiting her biological mom and her grandma. Brian and I went to pick her up from grandma's yesterday and ended up bringing her cousin, Ashley, along with us and meeting my brother-in-law in Eugene to save him a long drive from Salem to Medford to get her. Shae is used to having a bountiful special toys and gadgets for the car which she has collected over the years. Only, oops!, Brian and I forgot to bring her things with us so she and her cousin were left to endure a 2 ½ hour road trip the old fashioned way before the days of portable DVD players and ipods. Both Shae and Ashley were dumbfounded and had no clue what to do.

 

The girls played, fought, and slept in the back seat of the car for a good hour and a half. At that point, we made a bathroom stop and when we got back in the car they were reenergized and tired of being cooped up in a car. (I'm sure the ice cream we ate on our little stop didn't help with energy levels either). So tell me, what do you get with two hyper girls full of ice cream in the back seat a car with two tired grumpy adults in the front seat? It is a recipe for one of two things: disaster or complete silliness.

 

The coin was flipped and it landed on silliness. I am not sure how it started, but someone started singing a goofy camp song. Then I thought of one, and another one, and another. It had begun. We laughed and sang songs we knew and made up fantastic new songs, like My Mom thinks She's a Kitty-Cat. We threw jokes in the mix too. Within minutes we transformed the entire car from a tired, precociously teetering balance between grump and goof and land-slid into all becoming five year olds.

I love the memories that time created. It is in those moments that bonding happens and relationships are formed. They are novel times, something spontaneous and good that happens at a much needed time. When I think back on my life it is these times that I remember with the most fondness. I smile when I think about them and I'm sure I will continue to smile about this hour as I am right now writing about it. I hope the same for Brian, Shae, and Ashley. Moments like these are what family is all about. In the hurried schedules and brain-sucking presence of media in our lives, these moments are few and far between. I cherish them and am so glad I was able to lighten up and sing about farts. I hope and pray you have many fart song moments in your life and can tell lame jokes and laugh until you cry with the ones you love. Maybe make a date of it. If your time goes as mine, you won't regret it. Have fun and be a kid. This is a good reminder for me and hopefully encouragement for you if you need it.

 

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Spring Break?

Lynae N.

March 28, 2010 - 8:45 PM

I was so intent on having a break this week and I have no idea how, but somewhere between the weekend at the in-laws and today I am utterly exhausted and living off of less sleep than I do during my ‘normal' routine. Perhaps I just tried to pack too many things into too short of a time. Like usual, I filled my week with a lot of big events; a surprise day for my husband (which went fabulously), a date day, reading, deep cleaning, cooking a large meal for almost 100 people, volunteered in children's church, ran a home group, visited my parents twice and with Brian's mom and dad each once, and managed to squeeze some girl time in the mix also. I had a ton of fun but, like I said, I am utterly exhausted both physically and mentally.

This is not necessarily how I want to start out my last term of graduate school. Things are what they are though and I'm sure the anxiety I am feeling about finishing school and all of the many many tasks I have to complete in a short 10 weeks played a major role in my busyness. I tend to distract myself if I am stressed, doing doing doing to the point of crashing. Then I try to sleep and have very strange anxious dreams that aren't rejuvenating in the least. I end up waking up more often and unwillingly getting up earlier than I need to. I can't believe I used to live my life this way on a regular basis. I am not pleased to find myself in this position, especially after promising myself I would relax, but I am comforted to know that my present state feels abnormal and uncomfortable when it used to be my life. Thank God it's not anymore!

So I need to get back on track, to refocus. Tomorrow morning I have a dreaded meeting that I have to participate in. My role in this meeting is not fun, in fact, while ethically the right thing to do; it is the hardest thing I have done to date. With this in mind and the background stress of this term, no wonder my week wasn't a break. All week the mention of Monday has tied my stomach in knots and brought panicked tears to my eyes. I am both thankful and nervous that Monday is tomorrow. I can hardly wait to walk out of that meeting and feel the tense bricks fall from my shoulders and maybe, just maybe, I can spend the rest of the day having the break I missed all week. It is so funny; I can tell you step by step how this process will go. Tonight I'm going to stay up too late watching a movie when I need the sleep because I know I won't sleep until my body protests and I can't physically keep my eyes open. I will have weird dreams and wake up probably two or three times. There is no doubt I will find myself up by 6:00 when my meeting isn't until 8:30. I will vacillate between peace and sudden onsets of panic until I have to leave. When I arrive for my meeting, I'll be early and I will be scared. But I will leave that scared girl in the car and walk out with a strong posture, professionally dressed, cool and calm on the outside with a torrent on the inside. The benefit to a background in theater is the ability to play a part, even when scared. Most likely, no one there will know what's going on for me.

Once the meeting is over, I will be able to deal with it. The second I am in my car and out of sight the dam will break and the tears will flood down. I have to pick my husband up from a class after my meeting and will show up crying. We will head home and Brian will listen to my woes and tuck me in for a nap. The chances are I will sleep for hours and wake up feeling better and more rested than I have all week. If I can make it through until then, I will be fine. I am glad for a distracting and fun break but I am even more looking forward to a bit of rest.

 

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Take a Moment and Take a Breath

Lynae N.

March 21, 2010 - 7:09 PM

I can hardly contain my joy that Spring Break has finally come! I'm sitting in an empty room at my in-law's house as we speak and I just finished a fabulous homemade steak dinner. Yesterday we were up at my parent's house and guess what they fed us there. . . steak. I'm not a huge meat eater but it is sure nice to know that everyone we love is so supportive and brining out their best for us.

 

Break came just in time. My life was becoming so chaotic that even in my diligence to make sure the house was clean and in order this term, that my daughter got undivided attention on a daily basis, and my drive to keep up and ahead of school work was quickly slipping through my fingers like sand. I was running and working frantically to keep my head above water, feeling like I was living off of sporadic gasps of breath in between waves of have-to's and deadlines.

 

Then suddenly I took a gasp and realized that I could keep breathing. I didn't have to push myself back into work, I could do whatever I wanted to. Of course, being me, I immediately filled my schedule with more stuff. The difference is that the stuff I am doing over break is my choice. That is a cool feeling.

 

I have lots of fun things planned. I've already been enjoying time with family and have a surprise day planned to spoil my husband, a day away at Belknap hot springs ( a favorite getaway for Brian and I), and working to start our garden. In the midst of all of the activities I am choosing, I commit to taking moments to take a breath and slow down. I have to keep my mind on break mode and not give in to the temptation to spin the wheels in my head and get myself amped up for my final term at the UO. I know that busy times are looming and while I feel like I can get a bit of a head start, spending my week doing absolutely nothing for school or for a prospective job hunt is probably a much healthier use of my time.

 

You are bearing witness to my commitment to not think about my school/work situation at much as possible (aside from answering questions from loving and curious family members). I am going to have fun. With that said, I am choosing to cut my blog short so I can head upstairs and spend time with my family.

 

I will talk with you all in a week.

 

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Food Poisoning and Swine Flu?

Lynae N.

March 21, 2010 - 7:09 PM

So I am a bit worried about a couple things as I'm heading into Spring Break. I didn't share this in my other blog because I felt that I needed to reserve one for happy and one for the unfortunate circumstance I am finding myself in. Regardless of these circumstances, I still commit to having fun and doing what I choose to do.

 

Concern number one: food poisoning. I hardly ever eat fast food. I think it is greasy, salty, nasty, and always gives me a mild to moderate upset stomach. My family left town directly from church this morning to head to southern Oregon and we stopped and ate at Taco Bell on our way out. I am also prone to car sickness, so I didn't think much about feeling sick with the combination of fast food stirring in my stomach and the constant movement of rain and windshield wipers waving furiously in front of my face for two and a half hours today. I felt better once I was out of the car and went for a walk and I assumed that would be the end of it. Little did I know that just a few hours later I would be sitting here with severe stomach pains and wondering if I have some form of food poisoning. I can't say that I've had stomach issues like this before but my whole abdomen feels like someone is squeezing it as hard as possible and my body is counteracting this by tensing up all of my muscles and pushing back. Underneath this battle is a very loud and talkative stomach that sounds really really mad. Long story short, this could be an interesting night at the in-law's house.

 

Concern number two: my mom had the Swine Flu about a week ago. She has fully recovered and is in good health without any symptoms. Thinking that the threat of danger had passed, Brian, Shae, and I went to visit my Mom and Dad in Salem yesterday. We had a fun day and we all enjoyed each other's company. However, towards the end of the evening, my Dad started to feel sick. I remembered then my Mom telling me my Dad took some time off of work to be at home and take care of her while she had the flu. Hmm. . . maybe going to Salem wasn't the best idea. I hope my Dad isn't getting sick because my poor Mom was pretty miserable for a week and I don't want to see him go through that same thing. More selfishly, I don't want to see myself, Brian, or Shae go through that either! I want to enjoy Spring Break and I don't want any of us sick as we go back to our school routine. Only time will tell, but I guess at the end of the day, the benefit of seeing my parents is worth the risk, for me at least. I think I would feel pretty bad if Brian or Shae got sick out of this. Hopefully none of us will and nothing will be able to take away a fun break. God knows we all need it.

 

 

 

 

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It's strange to already be saying goodbye

Lynae N.

March 14, 2010 - 10:18 PM

I have been sharing some about the odd experience I'm having transitioning out of the Couples and Family Therapy (CFT) program and the UO. There are a lot of important pieces of my program that I am quickly finding myself thrown in the midst of, preparing pieces and parts of a major paper (about 90 pp.) that I have to write, beginning my thoughts about job searching, saying goodbye to classes with professors, and planning last-term social events with my friends.

 

I hadn't really paid attention to the fact that I had my last term with two of the core faculty for the CFT program this term and now those classes are over. It wasn't brought up by anyone until the last day of classes and it was a shock to hear. I was so focused on the goal of sleeping in during Spring Break and anxiously waiting for classes to finally be done that I didn't even stop to recognize the preciousness of that time in class. These two professors, Deanna Linville and Jeff Todhal, have given me more than they are aware of. All of the faculty in the CFT program have always given above and beyond what I expected. They are a dynamic team and they have created a phenomenal program which, deservedly, gains national attention. I am so sad to think that I won't have class with Deanna or Jeff again. It feels so surreal. I have been dreading the end of this program and no amount of wanting to hold on to this time is making time slow down. It's funny, but I almost feel guilty for wanting Spring Break. Only almost. How can it be that I still have a full term left and I already have to say goodbye? Weird!

 

This awareness isn't all a bad thing though. The realization has brought the cohort closer together and we are planning series of fun activities for our last term together. So far we have a massive clothing/household item exchange, designing and making cohort t-shirts or hoodies, a craft time at brushfire, an open gym night at a local gymnastics studio, and various movie dates planned. There is also rumor of a big party to celebrate the completion of our massive papers and presentations that we all have to do to graduate. I am excited for all of these and only hope that I can be good about making the time to participate to the fullest.

 

Well, I'm sure you all will hear a lot more about these sorts of things in my future blogs. I have a lot ahead of me before I'm done and the transition has officially started. It will only get crazier and weirder from here.

 

 

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