Ducks @ Oregon - University of Oregon

Thoughts on Endings

Korrin B.

November 22, 2009 - 10:47 PM

Endings naturally make friends with light melancholic feelings. Everyone experiences a moment in life when they just can't wait for something to be over, to move on to something new. As a self-diagnosed wanderer, I have felt these pulls toward change several times. However, this means that I have felt their after workings as well. I've gazed off a ferryboat and watched my Greek island vanish into a hazy horizon. I've looked up at the dark night stars and wondered about the kids I worked with in New York. I've spent many holiday seasons thinking about the joyous nature of being a kid during that time of year. Life seems to come in phases, each of which presents itself as some sort of lesson. The lesson may be one that you understand right away or one that some day, twenty years down the road, finally clicks. No matter the nature of the lesson, the time in which it is presented is just a moment. When its end comes near is when the pensive mood arrives, beckoning reflection. Tomorrow begins week nine of the 2009 fall term at the University of Oregon, the first term of my first senior year.

I have seen this fall term as a somewhat mini-renaissance in my life. It began with my moving into my monastic abode in the south Eugene hills. It continued with my meeting with the internship director of the PPPM department and having her encourage me to make the most out of my gift as a student. It blossomed in the unexpected environment of Wednesday night bingo at the Eugene City Brewery where I met and conversed with real people. It was this term that I started painting again. It was this term that I traveled to Portland to meet with a friend for a lecture by Al Gore, after which we stopped for a couple of beers and some needed catching up. During our discussion, we noticed the more important topic of conversation that night was not necessarily how to solve the climate crisis, but rather how to properly define the word "swoon." The passions I have found within me and the incredible people who have come into my life this term have indeed caused my heart to swoon.

In a matter of a few library visits, a handful of lectures, and a couple of knotted finals, this term will be over. I will be boarding an airplane to Israel to begin my next journey. A term that I know has presented me with some sort of life lesson and most certainly great beauty has indeed lasted for only a moment. The diminishing daylight hours and ice-cold winds of winter term will soon take its place. It will be our job to take the warmth of the autumn with us in our minds to make sure that the next journey is forward and not back.

So, my thoughts on endings? I'm not really sure. They are the driving force of life and yet are also the causes of what make you stop and stand still for just a moment. But, it's ok, it's only week nine, too early for this type of reflection. We still have something to hold onto before we try to grab onto the next phase quick enough to evade the void. We've still got time.