The Balancing Act

Katie D.

October 30, 2009 - 10:27 AM

No matter where we are in life, we are constantly balancing our activities and passions. We have to make choices all the time between work and fun, between activities that we should do and activities that make us happy, between time studying and time with friends... I realize that this is not unique to college students. But as my relationship to the University of Oregon is changing I am increasingly having to battle between my roles here, and how to maintain the activities that feed my spirit while also taking care of my responsibilities.

I have always loved school. I'm a good student and I love the academic opportunities I have here. And I still love going to classes, but my schedule and commitment to the academic sphere is changing. For my whole life, my primary activity has been school. But suddenly I am writing a thesis (which is school-related, but not class-related) and working as an intern in a program which I love deeply and am extremely committed to.

See the conundrum? I'm transitioning from a "school for school's sake" attitude into a place where I still love my classes, but am more ready to set aside the school books in favor of a focus on the "real" world.

So far I'm doing a decent job. Not perfect, by any means. But I am maintaining my friendships, still mostly enjoying my homework and loving my classes. This will, I hope, continue for the rest of the year while I take fewer classes to focus more on my other projects. But no matter how hard I work to maintain my old style of living from before my focus shifted, I will inevitably lose some important aspects of my student life.

The first thing I have lost this term is climbing. I haven't been to the rock wall in weeks. This is a combination of my frantic schedule and my friends' schedules and a long string of sick days. But this is not something I'm willing to give up for good: my goal for the second part of fall term is to get myself back on the wall.

The second is the time to attend multiple extra events and lectures each month. I'm still making space for these things, but often now when a friend wants to go to a lecture, I have to stay home. There is so much to do! I haven't decided yet if this is something I need to try to get back into my life, or if this is simply the reality of being a busy person. The good news is that UO is hosting a huge conference on climate change next weekend, and I'm planning to attend the majority of that event. So all is not lost.

More than any of these outward signs of change in my life, I think I am trying to explain a shift in myself, in the way I see the world and value the things I spend time on. I am more and more focused on a future: on grad school, but also on the internship I have now and the good I can do there, and on what my place will be at UO and in the world as an activist, writer, educator, and peacemaker. Often, when I sit down to five hours of work on my computer, my first choice is not the essay for a class, but rather work in some other direction: my thesis, research for the internship, emails to advisors, and investigating the graduate school.

For the first time in my life, I am not a student first and foremost. I'm not exactly sure what to call this new identity, but it is not primarily focused on the classroom, but rather on the world.

And that is a change with a lot of potential, a huge significance. It means big changes ahead, big changes starting now. This year is going to be full of transitions, of new ideas and ways of being. It's going to be an amazing ride.

Real life? Here I come...