Sophomore Slump

Katie D.

January 29, 2011 - 4:02 PM

It seems like everyone hits a wall at some point. For college students, it's often called the sophomore slump: that feeling that you've lost your way, that you're not in the right place, and that everything is a bit pointless. As a sophomore undergrad, I hit the slump with a vengeance, and had that feeling of needing to escape and find a new path. So I went to Chile. I spent most of sophomore year selecting, applying, and preparing for my study abroad experience. I read books about working and living abroad, and spent lots of time imagining myself somewhere else. I spent spring term of sophomore year in Valdivia, finding a new way of living and rediscovering my purpose in school.

I am now entering the "sophomore" phase of my Master's program. I'm halfway through the first year of a two year program. The pattern is well-established, I know the program and the professors, and I'm comfortable enough with the whole experience to start feeling the dissatisfaction that sometimes arises with familiarity. I'm feeling a little lost and confused, frustrated, and trapped.

It's the sophomore slump all over again.

I'm not sure exactly where it's coming from. I like the majority of my classes, and am good friends with my cohort members. I like most of the professors, and am happy to still be in Eugene. But there are other things adding up to feeling dissatisfied and confused. I don't love all my classes, I'm less sure of my place in the CRES program, and I'm overwhelmed with schoolwork that sometimes feels below the level I had hoped for.

And, just like sophomore year of undergrad, I'm starting to feel the pull of the rest of the world, the desire to see old friends again, and the itchy feet of a traveler stuck in one place. Sophomore year I made it through by making travel plans. I can hardly wait to figure out my summer internship--I'll be spending at least part of the summer abroad, fulfilling internship credits for CRES. Maybe travel is the answer again.

I also think I'm feeling the tension that exists within the CRES program and the field of Appropriate Dispute Resolution as a whole. ADR exists in both the theoretical and idealistic world and the world of the practical. This means that a single field encompasses the would-be Gandhi figures and those of us who want to mediate at the Small Claims Court. The spectrum of ADR pulls people from many background and many ideologies, which is both a tremendous strength and a very real source of tension.

Added to the complexities of ADR, the CRES program has a similar tension. It is both an academic and a professional program. This means that we have classes both in the theory and psychology of conflict resolution, but also in the nitty-gritty details of practical implementation. This is something I truly value in the program, and is one of the reasons I selected CRES for my Masters study. But as we move deeper into the program, we have shifted from the opportunities to discuss ideology and ethics, and are now focusing on the practicalities of the field. I am feeling a bit trapped in this school setting without discussion or the opportunity to explore our deeply-held beliefs. We are now operating in practical land, and it's uncomfortable for me. It's not a bad thing by any means, but it is without the kind of depth I am used to in school.

Anyway, it's that time of things. Already time to be looking toward the future and start wondering what everything is leading to. Time to plan as well as time to do homework. And the weather's not cooperating, either--alternating between cold rain and the beautiful winter sun so uncommon here in the Northwest. Seems like I need a vacation, an adventure.

Thanks for reading my bellyaching. Here's to a weekend, and a sense of renewed purpose on Monday!