Graduated and Gone

Katie D.

October 8, 2010 - 6:53 PM

I imagine all alumni feel this at some point: the inevitable and crushing realization that your college days are behind you and that your life has moved on. It is a beautiful opportunity and a time of true regret, and deserves to be mourned for the loss that it is.

I have not physically moved anywhere. I live in the same house and same roommates as I did before graduation. I have become a "Double Duck," a UO grad who couldn't bear to leave, so is continuing onward at the same school. As I've written recently, I am so happy here: thriving, in fact. I become more and more comfortable in my program, and with my new routines, every day.

And yet.

And yet there was something wonderful and magical about being an undergraduate. A way of being on campus, a pattern of life, and a set of people. There was a routine to the days and weeks that included work, studies, and a good amount of time spent in leisure with good friends. I have come to miss that life, and those routines, powerfully. But the people, more than anything. Those friends who graduated beside me and have moved on.

Thursday nights are the worst for me these days. Every Thursday night of college, my friends and I got together for TV night. There were probably a few times that only four or five showed up. But usually all eight of my core group was there, spending time and swapping stories of our weeks for those Thursday evenings. By the end of school, the group had expanded to a Thursday night crew of ten, more often than not. Every single week. With the new TV season upon us, I now get bogged down, watching The Office and 30 Rock by myself. All that time spent in effortless goofiness, and the wonderful routine of it, graduated and gone.

I don't want this to sound like a bummer. It's really a celebration. These people were some of the best friends I have ever, ever had. And the consequence of knowing adventurous, exciting people is that they tend to move around. So now we are scattered: Maddy in Amsterdam, Nathan in Japan, Leah in Alaska, Olivia in Washington DC, Grant in Seattle, Verni in Corvallis, Stephanie in Portland, and Miles in Humboldt. They're busy with a whole host of things: adventuring, teaching, studying, working, and preparing for next steps. Someday I'd like to do a blog about the details of their various adventures and what they've done since graduation. For now, I'll just speak the truth of this evening:

I miss them.

Two weeks into the normal UO school year and it's finally starting to sink in: they aren't coming back for the fall. Graduation was real, and meant the end of an era. Our constant hangout spot, The Igloo (Maddy, Leah, and Olivia's house) is now occupied by a number of strangers. Thursday nights have a new rhythm that does not involve the effortless good times of old friends.

Sometimes I catch myself in an inside joke, or turning up a "group" song on the radio. They're still such a part of this city, this college experience. I've just looked through some of the pictures of us together four years ago, at the beginning of a friendship that would define my college years. We look younger, of course, and carefree as freshmen can afford to be. We look exactly like we should: like a group falling in love with the place and time and adventure of college.

Friends, Eugene isn't the same without you.