Family Birthdays

Katie D.

July 26, 2009 - 8:00 PM

My Dad turned fifty today. And he turned fifty in a spectacular, characteristic, and fantastically entertaining way.

All but one of my cousins showed up. We haven't gathered in these numbers in sixteen years. To have my father's brothers and sister and their kids all together is something near a miracle. I hadn't seen my girl cousin, Lyndsay, in about ten years. So the party consisted of family, Dad's childhood friends, our neighbors, church friends, his work friends, and many, many other people. About ninety of us altogether showed up to celebrate this big life marker with him.

My dad plays guitar. He's played in a band since he was fifteen years old. There is very little he loves more than to play and sing on stage. So that's what he wanted for his birthday: for all of his favorite people to come and spend time together and to be able to play an awesome gig with all the people he wanted.

We rented a bar for a Saturday night party yesterday. Three of his bands came, plus one of the members of his very first garage band. They played from 8:00 pm until 1:15 am.

It was an amazing, amazing night. It was so wonderful to see all of these people come out to celebrate with and support my dad. It was wonderful to have his siblings there, and to reconnect with my cousins. I got to see my friends from the neighborhood, and from church, and to spend time with my godfather, who was the best man at my parent's wedding.

First he played with his Chicago-style ska band. He's been with them for roughly four years, and I have seen major, major improvements in that time. Plus it's fun music: a lot of it right out of the Blues Brothers, and is played with great attitude.

Then he played a couple of acoustic songs with his old friend and band mate. While this was fun and special to me, the best part was watching how his siblings reacted to this. They knew my dad and Roger as teenagers, remembered their first gigs at the Roller Rink, and reminisced about my dad's unfortunate teenaged fashion sense and some interesting shenanigans. They told stories and were obviously touched that Dad and Roger were still friends, and still playing music together.

Next was the Irish band. Dad's only been in this group for about six months. He joined to replace their previous guitar player, and stumbled into some great musicianship and some amazingly fun music. They've already played multiple gigs in downtown Denver bars, and have a record of being both fun and wildly popular. My Irish family came out of the woodwork for this band. We all stood in a block, having a blast together. During the two cover songs of Flogging Molly, I got out there and danced like a fool. During one of them, five or six of us went up and did wild, jig-style dances together.

Finally, around midnight, it was time for the last band. My dad has been playing with Too Much Fun for roughly twenty years. I attended band practices in those early years in my "Kanga-Rocka-Roo" kiddie seat and listen to the band. Some of my very earliest memories are of seeing my dad gig with these guys at neighborhood and community events. Two summers ago I sang with them at a kid's cancer camp. Last year my sister went instead, and was such a hit that she sang with them the whole night on Saturday, including singing lead during "Shout!" I can remember dancing with my mom to this music when I was just barely old enough to do so without falling over. We danced like mad that night. By the last song after 1:00 am, there were only fifteen or so people left in the place. But we danced like there was no tomorrow, dancing to classic rock and listening to my dad's bad stage jokes. I laughed with my cousins, caught up with my aunts and uncles, and tried to take some decent pictures.

Today, on his real birthday, we went to my aunt's house to celebrate another birthday. My dad's mother turns ninety years old this Tuesday. We had a quiet party with tons of marvelous food and more time to really converse with my extended family. After such a long time apart, it was a beautiful thing to sit together over sausage sandwiches and talk. One cousin is an engineer in Vancouver, BC. Another is working on movies and TV in LA. My oldest cousin is an Iraq vet, doing well in his new house in California. My cousin Christopher, who has a rare genetic mutation that results in severe mental disabilities, was so gloriously overjoyed to see my grandmother, who he talks to over the phone every week. The cousin who wasn't present is working as a chef in Las Vegas. My younger cousin just finished his first year of college, and my little sister, the baby of the family, will be starting college in August.

My grandmother, although she is ninety now, is still a powerful and determined woman. She is the matriarch of the family, and deserves that title in every way. She still lives in the house where my father grew up, and maintains it by herself. She cooks, gardens, reads, writes, and paints. She would no more have someone help her clean her house than she would allow us to visit without a home cooked meal.

I can't imagine a better weekend of celebration and family. My grandmother had a calm party with all of us together, and had the chance to see us all be friends, just like she'd always hoped we would be. And my Dad got to play the gig of all gigs: the exact music he wanted to all of his favorite people in the world.

And I? I got to re-acquaint myself with all these relatives and neighbors, the friends from my hometown. I got to dance with my mom and watch my dad and little sister sing. I got to spend time with my grandmother, who has been of extreme importance to me in my life.

So happy birthday, Dad and Gran Fran! Thank you for everything you both have done for me and for our family. And thank you for the fabulous birthday celebrations. I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did!