Ducks @ Oregon - University of Oregon

Inside-Out Publication

Katie D.

March 7, 2010 - 3:49 PM

It's finally time to sit down and describe a massive project which has consumed my free time and taken over my imagination for the past month and more. I alluded to it in my Thesis blog last week, and now it's time to really walk through and explain what's going on.

First off, if you haven't read my previous Inside-Out blogs, you might want to go back really quick and look through those. This project is intimately connected with that program and with my experiences in Inside-Out classrooms.

So, how to begin? At the beginning, I suppose. I entered my first Inside-Out classroom with a host of fears and insecurities, with preconceived notions and a deep preoccupation with the idea that we, the "outside" students from the University of Oregon, would not be able to communicate with our inside student counterparts, incarcerated at the Oregon State Penitentiary. I left the classroom on the last day with an intense feeling of connection and transformation, with lived proof of the capacity for human connection, even across dramatic social divides. I left with a renewed sense of hope for humanity and faith in the education system. I left rejuvenated and inspired.

Most relevant to this blog, I left that last class meeting freshman year with an anthology of student work that was our final class project. It contained essays written for the class, as well as poetry, short stories, artwork, and open letters from our classmates to the class as a whole. It contained poems I had written and shared with inside students who were also poets. It contained powerful testimony for the connection and transformation that happened in the Inside-Out classroom. In the almost three years since that class, the anthology has been a treasure: proof of the power of written word to stir emotion and memory.

Each of the three UO Inside-Out classes have compiled student work for a final class project. Imagine the power of those combined documents.

Herein lies the inspiration and material for my current project. Our team of coeditors is selecting the best and most evocative of the pieces from those three years of art to compile a creative arts journal. It is entitled Turned Inside-Out, and will hopefully be the first volume of a series of Inside-Out Publications created by alumni of the program.

I have been dreaming up this project since fall term. This spring I received confirmation that the Clark Honors College will generously provide the monetary support for the program. I have two coeditors: Madeline and James. Madeline took the Inside-Out class with me last year, and worked with me during Sister Helen Prejean's visit and for the trip to Portland for Honors College events. James was a part of my first Inside-Out class, and is an inside student still incarcerated at OSP. The three of us are equal partners in this project.

We hope to show the talent of our peers in the Inside-Out classes, and to provide a document addressing the power and potential of the Inside-Out Program. In our formal Project Proposal, we write:

"The magazine, entitled Turned Inside-Out, is intended for multiple audiences and purposes. One major intention is that this publication will exemplify the nature and power of the classes, so Turned may be used as a recruitment tool, both for students and instructors. It will be a powerful addition to program development and funding requests. When partnered with the Inside-Out documentary, it will provide an in-depth record of the impact the Inside-Out Program has on individual students. Inclusion of outstanding academic essays will demonstrate the rigor and import of the classes as well as the impact that coursework and class discussions have on lives of individual students."

We plan to use Turned for recruitment, fund raising, education, research, consciousness-raising, and as a launching point for future creative projects involving Inside-Out alumni from universities and correctional facilities across the country.

I have never done anything like this before. I am honestly learning on the run: researching online, reading other magazines, meeting with faculty and staff members for help, and working on editing and selections skills. I have never felt like this about a project before-even the most exciting and inspirational work I have done before does not compare with Turned. Not only is it a cause I believe in completely, but it is also an outlet for my creative energy and skill in literature and creative work. I am blessed with two fabulous coeditors, who are a joy to work with and a constant source of inspiration. I am learning at breakneck speed, and loving every moment of it.

What we are creating is unique. It is special. It is the result of a program that believes completely in the equality between people, even and around prison walls and social divides. What we learned in our Inside-Out classes is coming home for me now: it is alive in the writing of my peers and will soon be published in a high-quality magazine form, to be disseminated and shared across the country.

This has been an enormous investment of time and energy for me. The three coeditors meet once a week, which means that Madeline and I drive up to Salem to meet with James inside the prison. To facilitate this, we have also been through formal training for Department of Corrections volunteers. We also are meeting with various people on the UO campus, including a meeting with the publicity staff tomorrow afternoon. We have already made it through the selection process, and are beginning to notify the artists and obtain permissions.

This is the defining project of my senior year. It will even be included in my thesis, which is the largest academic project of my college career. Turned Inside-Out is a constant inspiration and challenge for me. It is a joy each step of the way. It will be a solid and enduring example of the best of my college experience: a chance to take what was learned in the classroom and turn it into art and inspiration for the world to enjoy.

If all goes well, Turned Inside-Out will be in print before graduation in June. It'll be a real struggle to pick which event will make me more proud.

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No More Deaths 2010

Katie D.

March 6, 2010 - 12:22 PM

In two weeks, I will be heading south for another volunteer trip with No More Deaths. If you haven't read my previous blogs about this fabulous organization, let me explain. No More Deaths is a humanitarian aid organization that opperates in the desert south of Tucson, working to end suffering and death of migrants crossing from Mexico. Volunteers hike trails to offer water, food, and First Aid to migrants found there, and create caches of clean water in some of the most dangerous parts of the Arizona desert.

My two previous No More Deaths trips have been incredible experiences. I have learned so much about the situation on our southern border, and have had an opportunity to reflect on the difficulty and complexity of some of the issues facing the world today. It is so important to me to live beyond the classroom: to take what I have learned in sociology and literature classes and apply them to how I live, and how I view the world. While volunteering with No More Deaths, I have emptied myself of many of the things which normally preoccupy my life (answering emails, writing essays, reading homework, maintaining my daily routine) and have instead lived intensely in touch with the place and people immediately around me.

Last spring break, we had a fabulous group of six UO students. This year we are a group of seven, including three of last year's group. Those of us who have been before can't wait to be back on the border: we talk constantly of our experiences there last year and how we were changed by that trip. Leah loved the spring break trip so much that she volunteered with No More Deaths for three weeks of her summer. Ben was so affected by what he experienced that he changed his major to pre-med.

We will spend the week camping in the Sonoran Desert, living at semi-permanent camps run by No More Deaths. We will work together to cook meals and to maintain the camp. We will go on two patrols each day, each for one to four miles. We will go on trips to sites in the desert and on the Mexico side of the border which hold special significance to the migration issue.

The group of seven is my dream of a volunteer group. Three of us speak advanced Spanish. Two have Wilderness First Responder medical certification. Of the seven, four have been among my best friends since the first month of college, when we met in the dorms. The remaining two are my current roommates, and two of my favorite people in my life. The seven of us get along incredibly well, and are a mixture of motivated and laid back, which will help us get along for the 22 hour drive each way to Tucson and back.

We have been holding organizational meetings for the last two months. We have discussed what to expect, what to pack, the history of the border, and fund raising. We held a fund raising party at my house last night, and not only was it a fabulous dance party, we also raised more than $125 to support our trip. That's not bad for a bunch of college kids and their friends.

If you've been reading this blog since last spring break, you'll know that No More Deaths is one of my favorite organizations, one of my best memories of college, and my idea of a perfect break from the normal routine of school and life here in Eugene. This group of friends and the timing of this spring break will make it better than ever: a week without electricity means a week without emails, without Facebook, without cell phones, and without my THESIS.

It effectively means a week emptied of all the trappings of this life that I love, and brought back to the essentials of who I am: someone who loves this world intensely, who believes in the power of individuals to effect change, the importance of friendships, the beauty of the world, and my own drive to make a difference.

We'll be pulling out of Eugene on March 18th, working with No More Deaths the 20th to the 27th, and beginning a brand new quarter on March 29th. That's my final term as an undergraduate at the University of Oregon. I cannot imagine a better way to spend my last spring break than by working with No More Deaths. And you'd better believe that you'll be hearing more about it.

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Thesis Update

Katie D.

February 28, 2010 - 12:37 PM

An alternative title to this blog could be "keep on keeping on."

It's been a bit of a slog, I'll admit it. January was not a good month for the thesis writing process: I was incredibly committed to some fabulous projects, like working with Sister Helen and applying for grad school. I don't regret these projects in the slightest. However, it has made sustained work on a massive project a bit difficult. Distractions, competing time commitments, and a continuing need for some down time has led to a reevaluation of my thesis time line.

Originally, I had hoped to have a complete first draft before spring break. Folks, that leaves me just two and a half weeks. I've had to make the reluctant but honest decision that this is no longer a reasonable goal. It's not even a healthy goal-to complete a first draft by March 18th would require far more energy and time than would allow for time with friends, time spent outside, and the continuing need to work on homework, my internship, and ongoing projects.

Instead of beating myself up about the change, I have embraced it. A thesis is something you devote massive time and energy to, and when you graduate you have a full, self-directed project in your hands. I therefore refuse to feel competitive with my friend who has managed to write more than fifty pages so far this term. I also refuse to feel guilt over a change in my original goal. This is my project, ongoing and self-reflecting. It will be written and defended before graduation on June 13th. THAT is what's really important here.

Readers, I hope you realize how important it was for me to get that down, in writing. I'm letting myself off the hook.

In other thesis news, I have written more than ten pages in the last month. I've nearly completed the introduction segments, and am rapidly conquering the actual analysis portions of the project. For anyone who hasn't read my earlier blogs on this topic, here's the basic premise of my thesis:

The Inside-Out Program is a national program that brings college students into prisons for integrated classes with incarcerated individuals. The "inside" and "outside" students engage in dialogue and complete a rigorous academic curriculum. My experiences with the program include two classes taught at the Oregon State Penitentiary, as well as formal instructor training in Pennsylvania. My thesis will examine the classroom methods and pedagogical techniques that allow for engaged dialogue, even across social barriers as profound as prison walls. I am utilizing the instructor training to examine both experience as a student in the classroom and the effectiveness of certain classroom methods. I will also be applying the program's foundational texts and theories of engaged pedagogy and dialogue to the experience of the student.

This has been the basic plan for some time now. However, I have recently added a praxis section to my thesis as well, which will examine ways that the lessons learned in the Inside-Out classroom can be applied to other projects and to life in general. This section will be based on a project I am currently involved with, and which I will write about next week (sorry for the teaser, but it's a long story and needs to be told in its proper way). This is the part of my thesis I am most excited about-truly examining the long-term implications of a radical pedagogical theory that invites students to begin to view social interactions without the dominating lens of social conventions. An experience like Inside-Out is one that changes people profoundly, and invites them to self-reflection and critical understanding of the world. I can't wait to delve deeper into the mechanisms by which this is accomplished in the classroom, and then to extend that to the larger world.

Readers, my thesis is currently at twenty-two pages. It's nearly 1:00 pm on Sunday, February 28th. After writing this blog, I am so excited again by my topic. I'll be at 25 pages by the end of the day. I almost feel like I could write on through and finish the draft by March 18th after all. I'm making no promises, but I am rediscovering my original passion for the topic. There's so much to do! I promise to keep you updated.

Time to get writing.

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GRE

Katie D.

February 26, 2010 - 5:40 PM

I've done it! Taken the dreaded GRE, the Graduate Record Examinations, the gateway test to grad school.

I hate standardized tests. Though to be honest, I used to love them. Taking those annoying tests back in elementary school meant filling in a bunch of bubbles with a blunt Number 2 pencil and then sitting back to read a novel. I was a fast reader then, as I am now, and back then I was also good at math. Those test days had extra recess time and a chance to take a break from normal classes. We sat in different desks, had friends around to make faces at, and had only the vaguest understanding of why we were taking the tests in the first place. My mom always looked forward to the test scores, but I never even quite noticed. It was just a break in the normal school year.

Oh my, how things have changed.

I just left my GRE. Three hours in a little cubicle desk in a white room with seven other cubicle desks, facing computer screens and constantly surveyed by video cameras mounted on the ceiling. No ambient noise except for keyboard typing and my neighbor in the next cubicle who incessantly tapped his pencil against the desk. Noise canceling headphones can only do so much.

I haven't taken a standardized test since the SAT. I honestly haven't taken a test of any kind for more than a year. The reality of a literature major's college experience is not exactly one of multiple-choice knowledge. Rather, the skill set I have developed in college is one of argumentation and idea development. A Number 2 pencil hasn't figured significantly in my grades since freshman year. Finals aren't a time of stressed-out cramming for me, rather a time of stressed-out essay writing. So being in a testing center at all was stressful.

There are three sections of the basic GRE. The first is the writing section, with an opinion essay followed by an analytical piece. I honestly enjoyed that part of the test. I just sat there, typing away, not unlike I do while writing these weekly blogs. The style was different, but the basic act of writing was basically the same.

Next was the verbal portion. That's the part my science major friends worry about. It's the part people practice with the flashcards for words like "peregrinate" (Nerd alert! I already knew that one). You fill in the blanks of poorly-written sentences with appropriate missing words. You find antonyms and you do analogies (I hate this part). You also answer multiple-choice questions about passages of text.

Then came the math. The dreaded, horrible math section. The place where words give way to strange-looking combinations of letters and numbers combined to taunt you with questions of the areas of triangles or the absolute value of x. Oh, friends and readers, this section was grim. I knew it would be. I am in this circumstance the stereotypical literature student. I see numbers and I want to run screaming. The timer clicked away and I struggled through basic algebra, geometry, and weird word programs. The graphs and probability/statistics questions were great-I can see the value in that kind of math, and generally understand it pretty well. But good grief, show me a rectangle with a triangle inside it and ask me the length of the hypotenuse? Forget about it. Not to mention the extreme frustration of having memorized the quadratic equation and not being called upon to use it. So I'll use it here. Ready? OK. X equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four a c all divided by two a.

I can't get the darn thing out of my head now.

Well, enough crankiness from me. The GRE is behind me, and good riddance. You get your scores right away, and I did well on the verbal portion, and managed to score better than I had imagined on the math portion. Hopefully it's enough to get me into the graduate program of my dreams, the Conflict Resolution Master's program here at the UO. They don't prioritize the GRE scores, which is a good sign for me.

That might have been the final standardized test in my lifetime. One can only hope. I hope that sitting through the description wasn't as painful for you as sitting through the test was for me.

And even if nothing comes of it, at least the "forces that be" have managed to teach this excessively verbal type one tiny math tool: the Quadratic Equation. X equals negative b plus or minus...

I'll be having nightmares about that one for weeks to come.

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Seymour Hersh and CHC Events

Katie D.

February 21, 2010 - 2:56 PM

This was a week of many events. Not only did Monday start off with a bang-Reverend Jesse Jackson and the Holden Leadership Symposium-but the week finished with a campus visit by Seymour Hersh, the Pulitzer Prize winning journalist responsible for some of the most important investigative reporting on US wars in the last forty years.

Seymour Hersh is UO President Lariviere's first Presidential Lecturer. Hersh not only gave a public lecture for the university, but also attended meetings with several classes and faculty groups, providing many members of the campus community with an opportunity to meet with him and discuss his writing, his perspectives on torture and US foreign policy, and the role of journalism in the world today.

Because of this, I had the opportunity to hear Hersh speak multiple times. I was unable to attend the Thursday night presentation, but I hear his speech was excellent. On Friday morning he joined my FHS 407 seminar class on Torture and Foreign Policy for a breakfast. While sharing a meal of waffles and fruit, my classmates and I had a chance to really converse with him about his life and work, and his views about some of the most complex issues facing the US today. I found Seymour Hersh to be more than knowledgeable about the issues: his grasp of the military situation in the Middle East extends deeply into the lives and stories of hundreds of people he has interviewed and known over the years. This includes anonymous sources, whose stories he sometimes told us only in the vaguest of terms in order to not cross lines of confidentiality.

This man not only broke the recent military scandal of torture at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, but also was instrumental in the coverage of the Vietnam War and the My Lai massacre of Vietnamese civilians. This man, with his deep understanding of the atrocities possible in war, also has a deep compassion and commitment to the military personnel of the US armed forces. He spoke about the impossible situations our armed personnel face, often with inadequate or inappropriate training for the situations they are thrown into. (Example: National Guardsmen trained in traffic control ending up in charge of prisoner control at a secret prison) As someone with several family members and friends who are either currently enlisted in the military forces or have already served in active duty overseas, Hersh's perspective is an important one: he addresses critical issues and does not equivocate on the morality of the question of prisoner abuse, but does not demonize the individual soldiers.

In addition to joining my FHS class for breakfast, Hersh also appeared at an event in Portland for UO Clark Honors College alumni, UO donors, and interested community members. I attended this event at the White Stag building in Portland as a representative of the Honors College student body, and to present about the Inside-Out Program and the opportunities I have had through my participation in the Clark Honors College.

It was an incredible series of events, including many opportunities to speak with people who have contributed to the UO and the CHC, and who are invested in maintaining the excellence and dynamism of the University. It was wonderful to meet these people, to hear their stories, and to share my own.

Additionally, I attended a CHC Alumni Council meeting, where we discussed the state of the Honors College and its future goals, including the celebrations of the fiftieth anniversary of the Clark Honors College at the University of Oregon. This will include many events in the next year and a half involving alumni and current students, online interviews and archives, visiting alumni presentations, and special events at the Shakespeare Festival and the Bach Festival.

Last night the first of the celebrations of the anniversary was held in Eugene at the Hult Center, following a performance of Avenue Q, a Broadway play written by a CHC alum. The cast party included not only cast, but CHC alumni and more than seventy-five current students.

It's a wonderful thing to meet people who have been a part of the Honors College for years, and who still feel that their college experience was important enough to continue attending events and contributing their money and time to ensure its continued impact on current students. I know that these four years have been some of the most important in my life, and that I will remember them forever. I'm glad I'm not alone in this.

There will be many more events of this kind to report on in the coming months. Be on the look out! And if you're in town you should consider attending. Want an insider tip? Two words: chocolate fountain.

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