Stuck in Limbo

Caitlin H.

March 4, 2010 - 9:58 AM

I finally made it to March. This is the month I hear decisions on the rest of my graduate school applications. I'm excited, I'm anxious, I'm...

I feel stuck.

Everyone I know is applying for interesting summer internships that sound like the kind of thing that will fast-track a career. Opportunity after opportunity is passing me by; I think I can actually feel the deadlines flying past. I want to make a plan. I want to know where I'm going to be this summer and fall. But I feel directionless.

Without knowing what grad school I want to go to, or even what state I'll be living in next fall, I feel as though I can't decide on what to do this summer. If I don't know what to do this summer, I'm not sure what kind of opportunities I should look for this spring. It all comes back to deciding on which grad program is right for me. But I have only heard from 1 out of the 3 programs I applied to. Stuck. All I can do is wait.

The good news is, this can't go on much longer and then I'll fall into a whirlwind of making choices and planning. In the meantime I'm left wondering if it is my last game inside Mac Court, or just the last one this season (pre-season next year will still be inside Mac). I'm left wondering if these are my last winter moments in Eugene, or just the last with my fellow graduating seniors who plan to leave in the spring. It is hard not knowing if this is ‘goodbye' or just ‘see you next year.'

Life has a way of working itself out. In due course I'll find a spring job if I need to, or figure out what to do this summer when the time comes. Perhaps this is my life lesson on patience. In the meantime I've found my way into a soccer club, which was one of my goals for the spring. I have a ‘coach clinic' over the weekend so that I can be involved with Eugene AYSO. With any luck I'll be coaching my own youth soccer team soon. I've done a little gardening; I've laid out some options so I'll be ready when the time comes. All I have left is: wait and see what happens. Cross your fingers! Admissions season might just be the most exciting time of the year.